Wishful Thinking Page 9

  Christian pulled her into his arms. “I could say all sorts of clichéd things about dining on champagne and caviar every day if you wanted to, but I’d rather kiss you instead.”

  There was no doubt in Jess’s mind about which she preferred too, as she succumbed to his caresses. His kiss was deep and passionate, his tongue seeking and capturing hers as his hands soothed and kneaded her back and shoulders drawing her ever closer into him as if he wanted their bodies to merge into one. She felt the warmth of his flesh and the hardness of his muscles as she pressed against him, whimpering with desire, allowing herself to be lost in his embrace and the delicious pleasure of the moment. When he pulled away she moaned softly, needing more of him. He nuzzled her ear briefly.

  “I hate to spoil the moment, but we have an audience,” he whispered.

  “Hello Chris. I need a drink, mummy,” Ben said from the doorway.

  Later that afternoon they put Christian’s original plan into practice. Ben felt and looked sufficiently better to allow Jess to overcome her fears about moving him. Besides, she was bursting with curiosity to see Christian’s house – or one of his houses – she understood he also had a smaller one in central London as well as a villa in some exotic resort abroad.

  As she was putting some things together for Ben, Christian came up behind her and caught her around the waist, pulling her towards him. He kissed her hair and then nibbled her ear before finding that sensitive flesh just below it. His kisses there made her entire body shudder with longing.

  “Make sure you have everything you both need for the night,” He told her quietly, sending little shockwaves of pleasurable anticipation tingling across the whole surface of her skin. He wanted her to spend the night with him! The thought both thrilled and terrified her and she bit her lower lip nervously. He turned her around to face him and looked deep into her eyes. “You do want to, don’t you?” He asked, depositing tiny kisses on her eyes and nose.

  As she looked up at him she hoped her eyes would not betray her anxiety. She wanted to shout out ‘Yes - more than anything in the world!’ But at the same time she wondered how she could ever compete with the calibre of girlfriend he’d been used to in the past. She almost wished she hadn’t done her research and seen his name linked with some of the world’s most glamorous women.

  “Don’t worry,” he said, as if reading her troubled thoughts. “I won’t rush you.”

  But her worries escalated dramatically as they drove into the spacious grounds of the Surrey mansion. It looked like a stately home and Jess could only stare at it in speechless wonder, while Ben asked Christian which windows belonged to him, assuming it was a block of flats. This is a different world to mine, Jess thought. I must be insane to imagine I could ever have a rightful place in it. It was a sobering realisation and she entered the house in a thoughtful mood.

  Ben was quickly made comfortable in a room that was almost the size of Jess’s entire flat and one of the efficient nurses immediately checked his pulse and temperature and began a chart on him to record any changes. Jess had packed some of his books and games into his bag and the nurse helped him to unpack and stack these beside him.

  “Oh look! Connect Four. I’m ace at that. As soon as we get you into this nice big bed, I’m going to challenge you to a game of that – though I warn you, I’ll win!” Nurse Jacqui told him.

  Jess watched in amusement as Ben hopped into the vast bed, eager to prove the nurse wrong. He hardly glanced up when she and Christian left the room.

  “How many rooms does the house have?” Jess asked.

  He shrugged. “Not sure – I haven’t counted them recently. Shall we do that now while I show you around? We’ll start from the top – the studio is my pride and joy.”

  The sound-proofed studio occupied almost half of the top floor with its adjacent recording rooms and mixer booths. She allowed Chris to demonstrate the various gadgets which meant nothing to her, but she enjoyed his enthusiasm and their intimacy as he demonstrated the technology and asked numerous questions. She loved that he assumed she would share his interest in music and gadgetry and tried hard to follow and understand because it seemed so important to him.

  “Why did you give up the band? This is your life, isn’t it?”

  He looked at her as if her observation surprised him and then nodded. “I haven’t given it up, exactly. I just wanted to explore new avenues when the opportunity presented itself. I know too many people who claim not to have been brave enough to ‘seize the day’ and lived to regret it. I didn’t want to be one of those, constantly wondering how different my life might have been if only I hadn’t ignored the chance when it came my way.”

  Jess bit her lip and winced inwardly. That sounds like me, she thought. I’m one of those people. “So you’re quite an impulsive person then?” she asked, peering through the window into the blue-lit studio.

  He drew her towards him, encircling her waist with his hands and nestling his face beside hers so their cheeks touched. The gesture made her feel cherished and safe and she allowed her body to relax in his arms, nestling her head against his neck and darting tiny, soft kisses at his neck.

  “Maybe not so much impulsive as lucky. I’ve had some good breaks in life…like meeting you last week.” He caught her lips with his for a moment when she tilted her head and then began to trail kisses down her jaw and neck while she stood for a moment, basking in the sheer thrill of the sensation before turning in his arms to catch his lips again and return his kisses.

  No kisses had ever been sweeter. They were slow and sensuous, lips touching lips, tongues gently teasing and enjoying the sheer physicality of the experience. They were not the urgent prelude to sex but simply kisses that delighted in their own perfect art. And yet of course the longer they lingered, the more she was aware of her body’s growing desire for more and it was evident to her that he felt the same and that his urgency was growing by the minute. The knowledge heightened the pleasure of anticipation.

  “I thought we were supposed to be counting rooms,” she reminded him as their lips reluctantly drew apart. “Shall we call the studio room numbers one to six?”

  He sighed good-naturedly. “Maths never was my strong subject. Come on, I’ll show you the rest.”

  ****

  He’d hesitated before showing her into Amber’s room. He couldn’t decide whether to introduce them or not. But if things went the way he planned, he’d be spending a lot more time with Jess and Amber needed to get used to that. Besides, it was his house and they were both his guests. It would be wrong not to introduce them.

  When he knocked and entered, the bedroom looked like a cross between a beauty parlour and an office. Amber’s manager, Jake, was pacing around shouting instructions to someone from his mobile phone while Amber’s stylist was gathering up a multitude of colourful beautifying bottles and potions. Amber reclined against her silken pillows surveying her freshly manicured nails. Her beautiful hair flowed around her shoulders in a fiery cloud of soft curls. She looked at Christian through narrowed eyes as he led Jess into the room.

  “Amber I want you to meet Jess,” he hesitated to qualify her as his girlfriend and instead said “the ghost-writer I mentioned.”

  Amber turned her gaze on Jess and surveyed her briefly. “Hello ghost-writer,” she said, to his embarrassment and irritation before turning her large eyes back to him. “Any news from Adam?”

  “No, Amber. I’ve been busy. Haven’t you tried to call him?”

  Amber shrugged. “No – he’s probably back in Docklands though.” She turned again to Jess. “So you are going to be poking around in all our lives are you? You’ll need to run any questions you have for me by Jake first.” She indicated the pacing man with a graceful flutter of her newly-manicured fingers.

  The man halted and gave them a brief nod, showing that at least he had acknowledged their entrance.

  “And that goes for you too, Christian, darling.” Amber said.

  Christian felt irritated
but tried not to show it. “You don’t hold copyright on my memories, Amber,” he said lightly.

  “No but I do on my reputation,” she retorted. “You, above anyone, should understand that.”

  “I’m sure Jess will be very circumspect. It’s up to you if you want to co-operate or not.” He said, biting back his annoyance. He was acutely aware of how uncomfortable this must be for Jess and felt guilty about leading her into the lion’s den in this way. He needed to make it clear to Amber that Jess was more than just his ghost-writer. He put a protective arm around her and drew her to his side, allowing his cheek to brush against her soft, blonde curls for a delicious moment before depositing a quick, proprietorial kiss on the top of her lovely head.

  The gesture was not lost on Amber. “I’m sure you must be wanting me out of here. I’ve taken unfair advantage of your hospitality,” she grumbled.

  Christian groaned inwardly, but tried to sound cheerful. “Nonsense, Amber. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need to. In fact I insist you stay until you’re fully recovered. The press will be crawling all over your place, you know that.”

  “Well I’ll be gone before you leave for America, anyway. If Jake has succeeded in cancelling the rest of those gigs, I’ll probably see you out there. Won’t that be nice?”

  Not, Christian thought, in a hundred years! It was the last thing he needed after her New Year’s Eve debacle. Nor did he miss the little glint of malice in her eyes as she glanced at Jess following her announcement. He needed to get Amber well again so that they could discuss things rationally. He knew Amber wasn’t in love with him, despite her protests. She had a form of manic depression and when she was down, she believed he was her only salvation. The rest of the time, she saw things in a completely different light.

  “Get some rest, Amber,” he advised, ignoring her question. “Don’t try to do too much too soon. We’ll see you tomorrow.” He congratulated himself on managing to guide Jess gently out of the room before Amber said anything unpleasant.

  10

  “Hang on, is this thirty two or thirty three?” Jess asked as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

  Christian shrugged. “Beats me. I told you I was hopeless at maths. But all the same, I don’t think you should count en suites as separate rooms. Shall we take our coffee upstairs and do a mental recount? Or we could just…” he glanced at the central island, now cleared of all the party debris. “Nah! That only ever works in cheap novels and chick flicks and that granite looks very uncomfortable. Let’s go upstairs. There’s one room I haven’t shown you yet. But we’ll look in on Ben first.”

  Ben reclined on his pillows like a tiny emperor, watching a cartoon on the large TV screen in the foot of his bed. The nurse greeted them at the doorway.

  “His stats are stable and his temperature is still coming down nicely. The kitchen sent up some soup and toast which he ate and he’s cleaned his teeth. I said he could watch a DVD for thirty minutes only. If you don’t mind, now that you’re here, I’ll just pop down to the kitchen to grab a snack. You know he beat me two games to one at Connect Four – that boy cheats really well!”

  “He’s not a cheat!” Jess protested.

  “He must be,” Nurse Jacqui said airily as she sashayed past them. “I’m practically the world champion at Connect. See you in five.”

  Jess looked at Christian who gave a non-committal shrug that clearly said leave me out of this before going to sit beside Ben. The child looked a picture of contentment.

  “Isn’t this great, mummy? Can I have a bed like this?” Ben said without taking his eyes off the screen in front of him.

  “No, Ben. It’s bigger than your whole room!” Jess pointed out with a rueful laugh. She put her arm around her son’s shoulder and hugged him to her.

  A few minutes later the nurse returned with a huge plate of food which she set down on a table in the corner. “Five more minutes,” she warned Ben. “Then it’s story-time and lights out.”

  Ben nodded his acquiescence and Jess surveyed her in frank admiration for a moment before kissing her son. “I’ll be right next door if you need me, darling,” and with a big, grateful smile to the kindly nurse, she followed Christian out of the room.

  Christian’s bedroom was like the honeymoon suite of a very lavish Hollywood movie, sumptuously furnished with an abundance of richly-coloured wood, dark leather and vibrant silk. They sat in front of a roaring log fire and gazed into its depths for a few moments without speaking.

  Christian was the first to break the silence. “Penny for them?”

  Jess smiled. “I’d need far more than a penny. I was imagining what it must be like to be able to hire someone like Nurse Jacqui whenever Ben was ill. It’s so terrifying being alone with a sick child and wondering whether you’re doing all the right things or not. You know, you hesitate to call out the doctor in case he says you’re over-reacting and then when he comes and says you did the right thing, you just want to fall at his feet in gratitude. And I was thinking what a beautiful house you have and wondering whether anyone could ever, in a million years, take all this for granted.”

  He put his arm around her shoulder and very gently urged her closer. “Was there never anyone else – after Ben’s father?”

  Jess shook her head before resting it on his shoulder. “A couple of vague hopefuls that never would have amounted to anything – I suppose I was just too busy doing what single parents do to think about…you know.”

  “You must have been so lonely,” he murmured into her hair.

  “Mmm…occasionally. Most of the time I was fine; I had Ben…and there was a goldfish for a while who was very good company – a really great listener. And I had my job and my books and Ben…did I say Ben?”

  “All the time. He’s a lucky little boy. I envy him.”

  She turned her face up toward his and began to plant tiny kisses wherever she could reach.

  “Why would you envy him? You have both your parents and they are the loveliest people imaginable. You must have had an idyllic childhood.” She delivered these sentences between light, fluttery kisses which seemed to distract him very easily from the conversation he had initiated.

  When his lips sought and captured hers, all the earlier hesitation had gone. His kiss was passionate and hungry and a groan of longing passed from his mouth into hers as he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss.

  Jess could feel all her fears melting away. All her reservations about not being good enough for him dissolved in the face of her own urgent need answering his and when he raised her to her feet and led her towards his bedroom she no longer thought about whether or not she would live up to his past conquests as all that occupied her mind was her desire to be with him at this moment. A desire stronger than any she had ever felt before; stronger than any urge she had ever even imagined.

  ****

  Christian finally laid back, spent and more content than he could remember having felt in a very long time, if ever. He settled Jess against him and rained kisses onto her hair and face. She was amazing – every bit as wonderful as he had imagined, if not more so. Her gentle, yielding softness as she clung to him and all around him was nothing short of exquisite. She was perfection and he realised that he had spent his life searching for her. She was meant for him and now that he’d found her, he would allow nothing to come between them again. And here she was, returning his kisses, smiling her adorable smile which curved the corners of her mouth so sweetly and loving him. He must have died and gone to heaven, as the old cliché went.

  “That was…amazing,” he whispered into her ear, already feeling his interest reviving from her delicious proximity.

  “I know! I mean…” she giggled delightfully, cuddling closer to him. “I mean, it was for me! I was so…you know…worried that you…”

  He stopped her hesitant words with more kisses, deep, satisfyingly beautiful, unspoken words. Who needed mundane words when kisses could be so much more expressive? He would have to write a son
g about these kisses some time. But not now; right now he was far too busy enjoying their effect on them both.

  Later still, he said, “Why couldn’t I have met you years ago? To think of all this time we’ve wasted when we could have been together, just like this, in sheer perfection.”

  “Shhh,” she murmured, sated and sleepy from their tender but deeply passionate lovemaking. She placed her palm against his cheek and caressed it lovingly. “If you had then we would not have had this magical night together – and I wouldn’t forego this for anything.”

  He kissed her again before settling her more comfortably into his arms and, holding her close, he had the satisfaction of seeing her fall asleep just seconds before him.

  ****

  Jess woke up in Christian’s arms with the wonderfully profound contentment of someone who feels truly loved. Her head was nestling beneath his chin and she could not resist planting soft kisses on the delicate skin of his throat as she recalled the ecstasy of their lovemaking. She felt him stir and his hands tightened their hold on her. His mouth sought hers and their lips joined in a languorous kiss.